Chris's Journal

Happy Friday!

2012-01-27T10:10:00.000-08:00

Lux and his Bubbe

2012-01-10T08:49:00.001-08:00

December 20

2011-12-20T09:02:00.001-08:00

and again...

2011-12-16T14:33:00.000-08:00

Had a blast in Portland. Lux and I played a lot of trucks and dinosaurs!! He is a joy! Loved my time with Carrie-she is a peach!

Another round on Wednesday, so today a bit green. I think all this is causing me to be more fussy, more needy... I know I am doing well, but find I am needing more, oh I don't know... Attention? Soup?
sheesh!

Glass half full-able to work and play. Still feel pretty good most of the time.
Glass dipping below the line-still have f!@k#$g cancer. 7 years of treatment beginning to take its toll. Physically, emotionally.

Thank you Sue for the flowers, Des for sharing yummy food, Sara for the lights, Peg O. for the Goddess of Attitude...maybe I should go and rub her belly!! (The Goddess, not Peg!)

hugs,
chris

Thankful

2011-11-25T11:52:00.001-08:00

I hope that you all had a lovely Thanksgiving. Please know how thankful I am for you.

Cathy and I met in Fort Collins Tuesday night and she surprised me with an early Thanksgiving celebration before I went off to chemo on Wednesday. So nice! Thank you!

Had a total emotional meltdown at chemo...some days. Amazing support from Dr. K and the nurses-wow! They have an oncology social worker there, so I will meet with her-a place to dump and deal.

Brain scan was clear-whew!

hugs,
chris

yuk!

2011-11-10T09:13:00.000-08:00

Still do not feel well...and I do it all again in less than two weeks!
sigh.

Off to Fort Collins for brain MRI this afternoon. Won't know results til my next chemo on the 23rd.

My friend Susan wrote a blog post that I would like to share.
http://fatchickinlycra.blogspot.com/2011/11/other-cancer-lung-cancer.html

Have a great weekend and thank you Veterans!

hugs,
chris

here we go!

2011-11-04T09:57:00.001-07:00

They added the Avastin to the mix yesterday.

Got to my appointment feeling anxious, weary of it all, and a bit teary...chatted with one of the amazing chemo nurses and felt better and ready to go.

So, all I can say...Alimta and Avastin...go get 'em!

and all I can say to you all...could not do it without you. Thank you!

hugs,
chris

Feeling good!

2011-10-26T14:49:00.000-07:00

I have a whole week of feeling good ahead of me. Nice!

Had a phone call from the Cancer Center. Not sure if insurance will cover the Avastin with the Alimta. Until we get that all worked out, I am not going to start the Avastin (that is me talking). Just Alimta is like, $11,000 each time. Zoinks!
Thank goodness I have insurance!

Lots of snow on the ground-I still have irises to plant! Hope the weekend goes back to fall.

Thanks for all your support and love.
hugs,
chris

Happy Friday!

2011-10-21T14:58:00.001-07:00

A gorgeous fall day in Wyoming, I am feeling better, and it is Friday!
Sweet!

My reward? Actually, I am grounded (I hate when I ground myself!). I have to clean my house before I can go and play! So, tonight is a house cleaning flurry scurry. Tomorrow to Laramie to play.

Have a grand weekend, everyone!
hugs,
chris

tests, changes, what's next

2011-10-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

Left here at 6:30 yesterday morning and got home at 4:30. Long day. Drove down with the full moon and on my way home saw a herd of elk. Nice!

Started the day with a PET scan. Then to acupuncture. Then meeting with the oncologist to get the results. Scan shows growth of one of the tumors plus increase in plural effusion-which means cancer cells are pissing off healthy cells. Well, they are pissing me off too....
So, we are adding Avastin to the Alimta. Hopefully, this will be the killer combo.

Next chemo is Nov. 2. That will be another long day. I have to have an MRI in the morning, then will meet with oncologist. Then off to chemo education to learn about Avastin. Then chemo.
Hopefully, I can squeeze in an appointment to get acupuncture.

Well, that is the news from this end.
hugs,
chris

what's new, what's coming up

2011-09-22T14:34:00.000-07:00

Wow-first hints of fall. I love it! We are in our best season, now til Valentine's day.

Had a blast in Vegas with Liz and Jim. They took me to see Garth! We were like 14 year olds! It was wonderful. Liz flew home with me and we had a great week together (duh!).

Chemo yesterday. I think #107. This afternoon I am beginning to feel a bit punk. Need to lay down. Guess I need to put a nap rug under my desk. Next chemo is October 12th. I will have a PET scan that morning to see if Alimta is still holding the boogers steady. Just wish it would kill them off. sigh.

I was feeling a bit mad about having to go down for chemo, AGAIN. Then I went to my acupuncture appointment and in addition to working her magic for the nausea, she also sends me off feeling better about everything, in a better place in my head.

Good thing, cause when I got to the chemo room, I had a tough reality check. I could have gotten in a very negative/feeling guilty space. There was a man next to me getting some sort of injection in addition to his drip, and it was causing him so much pain. Hard to watch. There are so many in there that are so dang sick and hurting. I am one lucky person. This Alimta, while way too often, and taking a bit of a toll on me, is pretty easy. I don't know what drugs and reactions lie ahead for me, but thank goodness that Alimta has worked for me for so long, that I have been able to work and to play.

Enjoy the first day of fall!
hugs,
chris

Long weekend ahead

2011-09-02T15:15:00.000-07:00

Hi folks!
Sorry the blog line went dead. I guess I had nothing to share!!

Just had my 100th Alimta. My oncologist is keeping me on it til we see what the next PET scan says. That will be October 12th.

The green lasted almost 2 weeks last time. But, I did not have my acupuncture. Here is hoping that this one is easier...and shorter.

The yard has recovered fairly well-the perennials came back and I replanted some flowers for color-thank you Char and Marilyn, Cindy, Bobbi and Venice. Also, thank you Sue for sending the flower arrangment-I carried it from home to work to patio.

The insurance adjuster has been there, now for all the calls for roofing, gutters, screens....

Hope everyone has grand plans for the long weekend.

hugs,
chris

PET, hail

2011-07-26T13:15:00.000-07:00

This week I had a new PET scan. Back to having them every 4...one of the little buggers was showing signs of growing. This scan shows, again, more activity-like it is getting ready to break out of the Alimta wall we built. Bastard. I am still on Alimta, but looks like it is getting close to moving to something else.

The Alimta side-effects seem to be lasting longer and longer. Wonder what the new stuff will bring...

My beautiful yard was flattened by a major storm on the 12th. Lots and lots of ping pong ball size hail, 2+ inches of rain, driving wind. I was shoveling, they were plowing Pershing, shoveling off the roof of the DQ, and pulling cars out of the piles of hail.
I now have a yard of stalks. It even stripped bark off trees. As if that wasn't enough, Sunday we got more heavy rain and hail. So, the little bits that were trying to come back...sheesh.

My pal Sara came over to help me rake the ton of spruce boughs and leaves off the lawn and sweep up the patio that had flooded. Then my high school friend Cindy came down from Casper and we raked, swept and cleaned the patio roof off and the gutters (and had drinks!). She thought we needed to add color-so off we went to get new petunias. My friends Bobbi and Venice brought me a tomato plant, that had tomatoes on it (since mine were full of tomatoes when they were bashed), some new herbs and a pepper. Thanks you all!

Can't decide if I am going to make myself go out and rake and sweep and clean up AGAIN this weekend, or run away to Fort Collins!!

anyway, hope you are having a grand summer!
hugs,
chris

Finally!

2011-07-08T10:15:00.000-07:00

I am finally coming out of the green. Had chemo on the 29th, was green for the long weekend, was even greener that next Tuesday (and that made me cranky!)...today, better. Hoping wine tastes good tonight. I am ready for a glass while sitting on Amy's patio.

I have been asked for my chemo schedule:
July 21 (a Thursday). This day will also include a new PET scan
August 11 (also a Thursday)
August 31 (back to Wednesday) I think this will be #100 for the Alimta.

I hope everyone is enjoying summer. Mine has been great so far, and mor fun stuff coming!

hugs,
chris

Yikes!

2011-06-24T13:40:00.000-07:00

Where have I been?!
Let's see...in the last month since I blogged...
I flew to Boise and then went up to Andrea and Nick's farm for the Memorial Day weekend and an amazing music bash at their place. Then I met up with my old friend Dan Ball and drove back to Wyoming with him. He was heading for KC to see his folks. Fun to yak and drive. Then we had our Relay for Life. I lead the survivor lap with the Heroes of Hope banner. That was cool! Cathy and Des walked with me. Thanks for always holding me up.
I walked in honor and in memory of so many. Michelle, Loretta, Kathey, Sandra, Howard, Kristi. Mom, Carol Ann, Art, Leslie...
We have to win this fight. Thanks to all who donated to Relay.
***
2 weeks ago I flew to Portland to celebrate Lux's 2nd birthday! Wonderful! He and I had our own time each morning and then every day out in the yard. So wish I lived closer. Carrie and I would take walks with him each day and look at houses she wants me to move into! I have some pictures, but they are being held hostage in my camera. I can't find the cable. Soon-I promise!

Happy I can do all that. But, just not feeling as well as I would like. Better get that juicer fired up!

Hope your summer is full of family and friends...and some time in the lawn chair.
hugs,
chris

Journey on my friend

2011-06-20T11:46:00.000-07:00

Art Willenbrecht

June 7, 2011

Fundraising for Relay for Life

2011-05-19T14:43:00.001-07:00

We are a couple of weeks away from our Relay for Life...raising money and hope in the fight against cancer.

If you can help, I have a link on the American Cancer Society pages.

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY11GW?px=5580603&pg=personal&fr_id=33935

Thank you for all your support-for me and for this important fight.
Hugs,
chris

spring is a bit closer

2011-05-06T14:31:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday!

It is Fleece and Flip Flops season around here. A wee bit closer to spring and warm.

Feeling good after 100. I think wine might taste good tonight. Yippee! I would love a glass of wine on my porch.

Cheers to all!
hugs,
chris

Celebratin' in the chemo room

2011-04-28T14:37:00.000-07:00

100

2011-04-26T13:39:00.000-07:00

Wow. 100.

Not sure what else I might say about that...

100th chemo tomorrow.

Wow.

mom

2011-04-19T06:46:00.000-07:00

Nora Rose Hoffman Van Burgh
April 7, 1936-April 19, 1991

I miss you so much, mom.

55

2011-04-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

That was how old my mother was when she died.

That is how old I turned yesterday.

My mother's birthday was April 7. Six days later was my birthday. Six days after that my mother died.

I remember our 30/50 birthday celebration-what a fun party! I am so sad that there is not a 55/75 party... I miss her so much.

However, given my own diagnosis, and that I was not sure I would live to 50, I am going to celebrate 55 all year long! Let me modify that, I am going to celebrate 55 feeling like I am 32. I am going to rock this year!

Wanna help?!

Relay for Life

2011-04-11T15:24:00.000-07:00

Just a short note for now, more info later. My donations page is now up for our Relay for Life fundraising.
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY11GW?px=5580603&pg=personal&fr_id=33935

I know, that is ugly, but it should work! You can support our team by donating online.
Cheyenne's Relay for Life is June 3rd and 4th. Come join us on the track if you can. dollars + education = CURE

I will put up more information about relay, luminarias, and the good fight, as we get closer. Thanks for helping our team, supporting me, offering hope to so many. hugs, chris

checking in

2011-04-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone is doing well. Sorry to be off this blog for so long. Things are just regular...

I did get to go 4 weeks between chemo sessions this last time, and go on vacation! Wonderful! Now back to 3 weeks. The next chemo, April 27th, will be my 100th. Crazy.

I will have a new PET scan on the 22nd. Always a bit of a worry.

This was in a Daily Om post this week and I just love it! The years of our life do not arrive all at once; they greet us day by day. With the descent of each setting sun, we are able to rest our heads and let the world take care of itself for a while. We may rest assured throughout the night, knowing that the dawn will bring with it a chance to meet our lives anew, donning fresh perspectives and dream-inspired hopes. The hours that follow, before we return to sleep once more, are for us to decide how we want to live and learn, laugh and grow. Our lives are sweeter and more manageable because we must experience them this way: one day at a time.

hugs and have a wonderful weekend! chris

spring

2011-03-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night I was sitting on my patio with a glass of wine, my little grill....
Thursday night it was snowing and blowing and cold.

I was going to make some profound analogy about the highs and lows...NAH!!

Happy Spring!

hugs,
chris

p.s Hang in there Art--you have a cheer squad in Wyoming.

inspiration

2011-02-25T14:45:00.000-08:00

I was reading about a lung cancer survivor (he was also just diagnosed with prostate and then throat cancer this fall). He is hiking the Pacific Crest Trail from the Mexican border all the way up to Canada. "It's what's called my next big adventure, but I'm also doing it for the American Lung Association." http://www.myfoxorlando.com/dpp/news/orange_news/021611-lung-cancer-survivo r-to-hike-2600-miles

Wow-that is inspiring! I can't even get my sorry butt out for a walk!

I loved his comment, "Awareness, research dollars and hope. I tell everyone to hang on as long as they can because the cavalry might be just around the corner."

hugs,
chris

Long term

2011-02-18T09:54:00.000-08:00

Another round this week. Did not feel well at all yesterday, but today seems a bit better.
I am now getting B-12 shots each chemo week. That seems to help. I usually have acupuncture the day of chemo, but was not able to get in to see her this time. Makes me feel like I am going in without all my armor.
I feel so lucky to be on a chemo drug that lets me do so well. But, I do worry about the long term effects of 90+ infusions. Wow! As a stage IIIB/IV lung cancer fighter, that is a pretty amazing statement! When first diagnosed, long term was not in my vocabulary. Terminal/chronic is a strange combo...

Read this wonderful quote in Living Life as a Thank You:
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy--they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. Marcel Proust

hugs,
chris

message from my friend Missy

2011-02-09T13:09:00.000-08:00

From my friend Missy White...wow! Thank you Missy. YOU are AMAZING!!

Hi Friends
I am once again planning on bicycling the 100 mile distance at the Little Red Riding Hood event. LRRH is the nations largest all-women's athletic event- 3000 women on bikes!- and *all* proceeds from the ride are donated to women's cancer research.
For the previous 2 years I have ridden it in honor of my friend Chris van Burgh, a tenacious cancer fighter. This year, I am upping the ante and doing additional fund raising in her honor. Chris recently had chemo #96. She's an inspiration to all who know her, she certainly is for me. I hope you will join me in gathering funds in her name. I can't think of a more deserving recipient of this gesture. By the time LRRH 2011 rolls around, she'll be close to 105 chemo treatments.

What's being saddle sore and stiff compared to that?

I know many of you on this list are also riding, and I encourage you to add a few dollars to your registration fee if possible. For those of you who can give a financial gift, Chris and I thank you. For those of you who can't make a donation, we'll be delighted if you take a few minutes in her name to celebrate your health and community.

The link for the fundraising is embedded in the blurb below.
Many thanks!
Missy

Please go to Fabulous Fundraisers,
https://umarket.utah.edu/lrrh/index.html or to
https://umarket.utah.edu/lrrh/fundraiser.tpl?ID=1297212490146626 to support me. Type in "Missy White" to find me among the fundraisers.

World Cancer Day

2011-02-04T09:58:00.000-08:00

World Cancer Day is a global observance that helps raise people’s awareness of cancer and how to prevent, detect or treat it.

http://www.cancer.org/ Support this, through Relay for Life and our Wyoming Library Community Relay for Life team

http://www.livestrong.org/

How we will win? Awareness, education, dollars...and hope.

hugs,
chris

Another round, comes around

2011-01-24T11:06:00.000-08:00

It is pretty amazing to me to have been undergoing treatment for this long, and have nothing to report! Stable, both tumors and symptoms, is my new normal. What a lucky person I am.

Sadly, it took over 2 weeks for wine to taste good. But, at least I can have wine! Fatigue has been a big issue. After a wonderful, but little sleep weekend, with my brother and his wife, I had to go back to toddler bedtime for a few days last week.

Another round comes around Wednesday. 90 for Alimta. 96 total...so far. Will hit 100 in April! Yikes!

hugs,
chris

Finally rollin'

2011-01-14T09:17:00.001-08:00

Finally over the icky green days and ready to roll into the weekend! Took a full 7 days this time, and that was with acupuncture and a B-12 booster. A lot of time was spent in bed. Toddler bedtime and teenager gettin' up time.

New picture from my visit in December. Hanging out with his Bubbe outside. Can't wait to go back!

Have a great weekend!

hugs,

chris

Getting back up

2011-01-06T14:16:00.000-08:00

2010...not such a positive year for me. Great fun things, but it kicked me in the chops, emotionally.

"But the point of a life journey isn't whether or not we've fallen down;

it's whether or not we've learned how to get back up."

from The Age of Miracles

2011-already better.

hugs,
chris

Happy New Year!

2010-12-30T11:05:00.000-08:00

A very happy new year! I am amazed and happy to be bringing in another year.

Gather with friends and family, but spend some time with you, too.
Practice Random acts of kindness…pay it forward.
Focus everday on what you are grateful for.

Laugh…a lot!

And, know how blessed I feel to have you in my life.

hugs,
chris

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-23T14:12:00.000-08:00

Enjoy time with your family and friends...and remember to take some time for you.
We are so lucky!

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

From song by Josh Grobin, You Raise me Up

hugs,
chris

today

2010-12-20T08:56:00.000-08:00

250th post. 6 years. 94 chemo infusions.

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-22T13:35:00.000-08:00

I am so thankful. I am so grateful.

I have been so blessed in my life.

Wonderful family. Beautiful friends. Amazing opportunities.

hugs,
chris

Lung Cancer Awareness Month

2010-11-02T10:12:00.000-07:00

November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month.

Unfortunately, you will not be asked to donate when you check out at the grocery store. There will be no special blenders, cereal boxes, tint to the cartoon pages.

What there will be--thousands of people fighting the #1 cancer killer hoping that there will be better awareness, more dollars, a cure.

whew...

2010-10-22T11:54:00.000-07:00

Finally losing the green tint. Was still feeling crappy last night. Added to that was some boo-hoo feelings about this whole mess-91 treatments and a stable scan. It is amazing, it is a miracle, it is exhausting.

But, I have a grand weekend ahead, we are having a gorgous fall, and I have this (see picture above!).

Happy Friday!

hugs,

chris

onward

2010-10-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday!

Not too green yet. Chemo number 91 and a PET scan on Wednesday. Stable. Amazing...so, on we go...

Have a great weekend.

hugs,

chris

My favorite season

2010-10-07T11:11:00.000-07:00

I love fall! I know a lot of folks feel energized by spring. But fall is the season for me. Sunny days, but I get to put on some fleece with my flip flops.

Just back from Wyoming Library Association conference in Casper. Well, I got the big head now-I was selected as the association's Librarian of the Year. How cool is that?! Dad was at the banquet with me. Fun to share it with him. I also got to announce the Nora Van Burgh Development Grant recipient. Had a moment to talk about mom and how much she believed in the library community in Wyoming.

That was a nice boost, since I have been feeling weary of all these non-stop years of treatment.

Practice good soul care. The quality of our outer life is always dependent on the quality of care we give our soul. Cheryl Richardson

Yes, indeed! Time to practice that.

hugs,
chris

weary of this

2010-09-29T09:15:00.000-07:00

Not to worry-all is well, staying the course...But, dang! I sure get weary of this. 90 chemo treatments, 900 days that I felt crappy. Yep-that says 900.

I feel guilty for even feeling this way. I know how lucky I am. I have a treatment that is keeping it from growing. I have a treatment that is not so brutal that I can't work. I know there are folks out there fighting that are so sick. (Hang in there Art) But, again I say, dang!

900 days.

hugs,
c

Happy Friday!

2010-09-24T12:23:00.000-07:00

Today is #90.

2010-09-22T08:46:00.000-07:00

Chemo number 90.
As I posted on my facebook page, This is good. This sucks. This is good. This sucks.

My friend Missy wrote me a message saying that there will need to be a bash when I hit 100.
Ok, so party in, what, March? Will have to count. Go Alimta--keep doing what you do.

Happy Fall! This is my very favorite season.

hugs,
chris

Hero of Hope

2010-09-03T10:42:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share something cool with you.

I have been selected as an American Cancer Society, Great West Division Hero of Hope: Profiles of Courage Honoree for 2010.
Long title!! But, what it means is that I will be asked to speak on behalf of Relay for Life and ACS and at their functions. I hope so...it is so important to tell our story, to educate and to promote help and hope and healing.

Have a great weekend!
hugs,
chris

Where Happiness Awaits You

2010-08-12T10:30:00.000-07:00

ahhh. Time on the beach, watching water, reading books, laughing, rum punches, eating well...how healing is that?!
My cousin and her husband took me along on their Caribbean vacation. What a treat-I felt spoiled and loved. Thanks Liz and Jim!

I read 5 books! What a luxury. Knowing you all as I do, here is the list:
Savannah Blues by Mary Kay Andrews
The Piano Teacher by Lynn York
On the Divinity of Second Chances by Kay McLaren
The Deep Blue Good-by (Travis McGee Novel) by John D. MacDonald
Almost Like Being in Love by Steve Kluger

and started Hypocrite in an White Poofy Dress and also reading Happy for No Reason.

So, now back to reality. Had chemo on Tuesday. Upcoming chemo schedule:Sept. 2, Sept. 22, Oct. 20.

The title to this post, Where Happiness Awaits you, was on a sign for a beach bar.

hugs,
chris

5 minutes

2010-07-20T11:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I wrote a short and gloomy post. Well, not really a post. A whine. Yikes-it is finally summer! No time to whine. Time to remember how to have fun, how to celebrate. We all get so bogged down in being adults with obligations; with change and illness; with overscheduled lives.
We respond automatically with, "I'm too busy." "I don't feel good."
Too busy to enjoy this life? Too busy to celebrate with our family and our friends? How about, too busy to get at the dishes because we have gone out to look at constellations?
Ok, so I don't feel good. I can still go out and sit on my lovely patio. I can still sit in front of the fan and watch the Rockies.

This is from an email column called Daily Om. I have pulled some key parts for us.

Cultivating a happy heart takes no more than five minutes. The resultant delight will be neither complex nor complicated, but it will be profound and will serve as a reminder that there is always a reason to smile.
...The key is to first identify what makes us dizzyingly happy. If we do only what we believe should bring us contentment, our five minutes will not be particularly satisfying. When we allow ourselves the freedom to do whatever brings us pleasure, five minutes out of 14 wakeful hours can brighten our lives immeasurably.

It is often when we have the least free time or energy to devote to joy that we need to unwind and enjoy ourselves the most. Making happiness a priority will help you find five minutes every day to indulge in the things that inspire elation within you. Eventually, your happiness breaks will become an established part of your routine. If you start by pursuing activities you already enjoy and then gradually think up new and different ways to fill your daily five minutes of happiness, you will never be without something to smile about.

5 minutes...
hugs,
chris

old hat

2010-07-19T10:35:00.000-07:00

Chemo brain? Green and tired? Or, just old hat?

Not sure what number this last chemo was...somewhere in the 80's. Just a regular old chemo weekend.

hugs,
chris

yikes!

2010-07-02T10:38:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling great! If I don't look in the mirror or try to work out, there are days I do not feel sick. It is crazy! A cancer and stage that does not have good stats and 86 chemo treatments...and here I am working, walking, getting ready for grand vacations. I AM SO LUCKY!!

The yikes in the title is because of that mirror and workout part...I have come to realize, and this is not a proud moment, that I am so vain. I talk more about the cancer than I need to, because I am so embarrassed by how I look. I wanted people to know that it was the treatment and the cancer and not my lazy ass. That I was looking old because of the treatment and the cancer. My oncologist would suggest that I look around the chemo room, when I was having a "I hate this, I hate what this is doing to me and my life" moment. Selfishly, I would get a bit pouty about that. She is my reality check and I know what she meant-people are so, so sick. I realize that I need to get a handle on this. (You would think after almost 6 years, I would have a better grip.) I am so lucky.

It is a very different thing to mourn the loss of your look and looks, your lifestyle, your strength, than to mourn and suffer the loss of body parts.

I know that.

Time for me to take ownership of the parts I can do something about and come to terms with the rest. Because Alimta is letting me be here. This is no time to be vain about my butt. Life is for the living...go out and play!!

Have a great weekend!

hugs,
chris

Lux is One!

2010-06-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

Happy 1st Birthday to my beautiful grandson Lux.

Such lovely memories of being there when he was born.

And, now look at him!!

words and hugs

2010-06-04T12:21:00.000-07:00

I just love the quote on the previous post. I keep reading it over and over.

It is nice to have sayings and words and notes that can perk you up, pick you up.

This is a message that I had from my dad during my last chemo green week:

When you combine your rose-colored glasses with your shade of green what do you get? I would get brown but I'll bet you get sunny yellow!

88
Your greatest admirer.

Wow. Is that just like getting a hug, or what?!

hugs,
chris
p.s. I tried to make dad's message in sunny yellow-could not read it on the blog! So, use your imagination and think sunny!

sun

2010-05-28T09:32:00.000-07:00

"Standing in the light doesn't require a sturdy spine. Just a courageous soul willing to turn and face the sun." (Kristen Jongen)

So many folks are going through so much: illness, family struggles, life changes.

Turn, feel the sun.

hugs,
chris

Relay for Life

2010-05-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

Once again I am taking to the track...
Relay for Life here in Cheyenne is June 4th and 5th. A wonderful time to honor those we lost to cancer and support those in the fight.
Please come out and join us. Opening ceremony is at 6:00 followed by the survivor/caregiver lap.
If you would like to donate to Relay for Life, you can send checks to me (made out to ACS) or donate online. My online donation page is:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY10GW?px=5580603&pg=personal&fr_id=21768

Our bank night is June 1st-we will turn in our money then.

Relay raises awareness and funds to help find cures, provide support and remember.

Thank you for all your support this year--hugs, prayers, gifts, donations...hope.
hugs,
chris

How hasn't it?

2010-05-07T09:09:00.000-07:00

I was filling out a form for ACS and one of the questions is:
How has cancer affected your life?

Seriously, how hasn't it?

*Wrap your brain around the news that you have terminal cancer and an expiration date.
*Then wrap your brain around the fact that this newer drug is working, that stable is good, and the word maintenance is good.
*Settle your heart enough to go on each day, knowing the pain and suffering that this is causing your family and friends.
*Come to terms with looking in the mirror and not looking like yourself.
*Try not to get too pissed every time you go to schedule something and have to work it around a 21 day chemo schedule and 7 days of green.
*Try to keep up some sort of exercise, when you feel like crap, fatigue is major, your feet feel like little blocks of wood and hurt to even walk, and you are wheezing.
*Try to explain to friends and family, and work, the effects of chemo brain. That things just fall out of my head. That I am not being a shit for forgetting, or not responding, or not getting something done. It just is not there.
*Be kind when another person asks if you are on a chemo lite, that it must not be too bad 'cause I still have my hair and I am not puking.
* Try to remember that it is ok to have my own bad days. Just because I have not lost limbs or organs, and I am tolerating this protocol well, I have been doing this non-stop for 5 1/2 years.

It has brought me into the lives of new people, those in the trenches. Thank you for putting it out there.
I have fabulous friends and family. Know that I am grateful to each and every one of you.

Thank you for caring, for standing by me, for lifting me up when I stumble.

hugs,
chris

never go away...

2010-04-23T12:28:00.001-07:00

Those words keep playing in my head. I know I whine about stable sometimes--the tumors not shrinking. But, to hear the words, "it will never go away."

wow.

Well, ok you little bastards. Stay in there...but Alimta and I are going to make your time there just miserable!! And, here all around you, the rest of me is partying!

As Jimmy Buffett says, "Breathe in. Breathe out. Move on."

hugs,
chris

Nora Rose

2010-04-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

I miss you, mommy.

April 7, 1936-April 19, 1991

Do I say "hooray?"

2010-04-13T09:57:00.000-07:00

This is a birthday that I did not think I would see. It was a goal, though. Well, not an end goal...the goal does not stop with 54! How about 104?!

Thank you to all my friends and family...my support team, my cheer squad. Thank you Dr. Kanard and all the fabulous folks at the Cancer Center of the Rockies. Thank you to Stacey, my beautiful healer. Thank you Alimta! Thank you to everyone who donates to cancer research so that we can kick this beast.

To all of you out there fighting this...hugs, hope, healing.

hugs,
chris

Thunder

2010-04-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

It is snowing and thundering.
Winter...summer...

Kind of like this experience.
Some winter, some summer.

Up. Down.
Snow. Thunder.

hugs,
chris

Attitude Post #2

2010-03-26T11:30:00.000-07:00

Attitude…Bad! I know, I just wrote about attitude, positive attitude. And here I sit feeling like crap. Driving down for chemo yesterday I could feel my good attitude slipping. I did not want to feel green for another week. 82nd week of green (at least they were not all in a row). I did not want to miss out on stuff, fall behind in stuff.
Wah, Wah, Wah!
Ok, so my goal this round is to try and not let it frustrate me, to stay off the couch and at least putter with stuff (I do love the word stuff! So professional!). I have a yoga workshop in the morning. That should help get it rolling. I think I should go buy daffodils. Bring some spring and cheer into the place.
You too!
Have a great weekend!
Hugs,
c

attitude

2010-03-18T11:56:00.000-07:00

2010 is just a rockin' year! It amazes me how you can change your life and how you live it just by changing your attitude.

I let my teeth get bad...why go to the dentist? I am not supposed to live.
I let my finances get neglected...why bother? I am just going to die.
I let my well-being slip from priority...why workout? I am just going to be sick and in bed again.

Jimmy Buffett has a song called Growing Older But Not Up. The chorus says, "I'd rather die while I am living than live while I am dead."

So, after my dreary summer and fall, I have gotten back out there. What a great year!

I have realized that it is ok to have a bad day or week...or even months. But, eventually, you have to crawl out from under the bed, dust yourself off, and look at life with gratitude. Don't get me wrong, this little Pollyanna still gets pissy and mad about all this. But you do choose how you conduct your life.

"We can move out of our own way, and we can make room for the blessings in our life to flow."
(from Living Life as a Thank You by Nina Lesowitz and Mary Beth Sammons)

hugs,
chris

Nothin' like a sunny day!

2010-03-12T08:29:00.001-08:00

Heard that song this morning on my drive in (on the Margaritaville station). Perfect-got my toes tappin', enjoying the sun, and feeling good. Wahoo! All that, and it is Friday.
It was a long and green week, but I had a wonderful session with my acupuncturist, taught yoga on Wednesday, hit the green juice hard...all better!

This weekend looks to be full of friends, some weaving, and (bleah) finding all the papers for income tax.

Enjoy yours...
hugs,
chris

81 and counting

2010-03-08T11:11:00.000-08:00

A weekend in bed...yuk! (Wasn't there a time in my life that would have been a good thing?!)

12 hours + each night and naps. Pretty green, but had Meg's oatmeal pancakes to nibble and soup and vegetables to juice.
Managed to get some house chores done and read a bit of Salty Piece of Land. That is all I have to show for it!
To add to all the fun, I had a wisdom tooth extracted today. Another week of simple/soft food. Fire up the juicer and the blender!
The pamphlet said no coffee...Yikes! I had the assistant ask the doc. I can have some tomorrow around noon. Whew!
Yoga, acupuncture and pedicure on Wednesday. Just in time!
Have a grand week!
hugs,
chris

so cool

2010-02-26T10:46:00.000-08:00

Future's so bright, I gotta wear shades!

hugs,

chris

happily

2010-02-19T11:58:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday. I am heading out of the green, trying for a grown-up bedtime, and looking forward to the weekend. Hope that there is a glass of wine in my pretty immediate future.

Came across this woman's site and also her facebook, WTF?
I thought I would leave that for a second...I know what you thought! But, it acutally is, WTF? Where's the Funding (for lung cancer) (http://www.wtflungcancer.com/) From her page, "It’s time to take the stigma OUT of lung cancer – smokers or not – and get lung cancer the attention and funding it deserves. Until then, I will continue to loudly scream, “WTF” for Lung Cancer?” "
You can check out her pages and there is also a CafePress site for stuff. http://www.cafepress.com/wtf_lungcancer

10 days to get to feeling better this time. Happily it was a 3 day weekend and I could lay low...and happily the Olympics were on. I could lay on the couch and flip between that and the decorating channel...and happily I had a selection of food from Meg and daily calls from Liz...and happily my dad was here for a few days. Happily green? Nah! Just green and happily distracted and cared for.

hugs,
chris
p.s. for Art--stay out of Google and hang in there!

Number 80

2010-02-11T08:35:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was chemo #80.

Not sure what to say...yahoo? yikes? yawn? yow?

While chatting last night, my friend Cathy came up with, "well, what do you know." In all its inflections!

My friend Missy said, "astonishing, miraculous, scarier-than-all-get-out, wonderous, and flat out impressive."

I will leave it at that.

hugs,
chris

I love being Bubbe!

2010-02-04T10:48:00.000-08:00

When I see these pictures, I just want to buy a ticket and get myself to Portland!

much better!

2010-01-29T11:02:00.000-08:00

Friday, suns out, and I am not green!
Finally felt good yesterday. I am happy to have an adult bed time again. The fatigue was brutal this time.
This year feels better too. Summer and fall were just dreary for me. It has occured to me that getting a death sentence, trying to come to grips with that, then getting on a treatment that is keeping me stable, alive and doing well...I had some post traumatic stress to deal with. I was seeing stable as frustrating and not healing. Now I realize, that stable is healing. It has not wandered off and that is fantastic. This next round will be number 80. That has been hard to deal with. To have felt crappy for almost 2 years out of the last 5... discouraging.

But, the key here is, ALIVE AND DOING WELL!!

Number 80...bring it on!

Happy weekend!
hugs,
chris

soapbox time again

2010-01-27T13:00:00.000-08:00

This came from my oncologist and the Cancer Center where I get my treatment.

Please join me in signing a petition to ask our elected officials to Stop
Cancer Care Cuts. We have the best cancer care in the world but it is now
endangered by continuous government cuts to cancer care payments to cancer
clinics. Health care reform needs to address the cancer care crisis.
I have joined other Americans in signing a petition that will be sent to
policymakers. Please read the Stop Cancer Care Cuts Petition at
http://www.communityoncology.org/coa-petition and add your name to show
your support for the future of cancer care in our country.

Thanks for considering this.
And, as always, thank you for supporting the fight against cancer.

hugs,
chris

Here comes Lux

2010-01-15T13:15:00.001-08:00

A smile for your Friday!

Happy New Year!

2010-01-06T12:50:00.001-08:00

Well, it looks as if I have finally crawled out from under my dark cloud. I was starting to irritate myself!
Chemo number 78 last Monday (the 28th)...#72 on the Alimta. Wild. I was feeling a little (ok, a lot) frustrated that I had done so many chemo treatments and the damn stuff was not going away. I realize how lucky I am that it has stayed stable. So, bring it on!
Stomach is still a bit funky, but I am feeling on the upswing. Even with acupuncture, it is taking 10 days to get to feeling good.
Next round is on the 20th. Going back to Wednesdays. Hoping that lets me have the worst days on the weekend.
A new addition to treatment. I have to now self-inject my B-12 shots. Insurance will not allow the nurses to do it. Yikes. That was wild to do...I will have to have them show me again for the next round. Only have to do B-12 every 9 weeks. It and daily folic acid and the (I HATE DECADRON!") decadron are part of the Alimta protocol. Decreases the toxicity.
Well, look at me....babbble babble babble!
Stay warm-wind chill is 22 below right now!!
hugs,
chris

So much to be thankful for

2009-12-29T10:25:00.001-08:00

Grand holiday time in Oregon with a bonus day in Fort Collins! Traveled to Portland with Cathy and we had such a lovely time with Carrie, Lux and Adam. My beautiful daughter made it so special for us. Had so much snuggle time with Lux (will get a picture posted soon). He just makes my heart sing!

On the way down to chemo yesterday, I heard this song sung by Josh Grobin called Thankful.

Somedays we forget

To look around us

Somedays we can't see

The joy that surrounds us

So caught up inside ourselves

We take when we should give.

It ends with, "There's so much to be thankful for ."

Indeed!
hugs,
chris

Enjoy the season!

2009-12-18T08:34:00.001-08:00

Water level back up, holidays are here, off to see Lux and Carrie!

I hope that you all have a season full of blessings.

hugs,
chris

water level slipped

2009-12-07T08:50:00.000-08:00

It has been a weepy week. I think I have done a pretty good job of keeping the glass half full. This week, slipped below the line.

I had a PET scan on Thursday morning. Shows stable. That is good news. But, this week, it did not feel like good news. It felt discouraging. 77 freakin' chemos and it is not going away.

I know, I know. It is not growing. It has not wandered into other body parts. I know I am lucky. I have not lost body parts or organs. I can still go to work, do things.

But, this week. I am just feeling a little beat up.

And, I hate that.

I am going to focus on my blessings. I am going to get that glass filled back up.

hugs,
chris

Thankful

2009-11-25T09:56:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving to you, my dear friends and family.
I am truly blessed.

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was ‘thank you,’ that would suffice."
(13th-century, Meister Eckhart)

hugs,
chris

Circle of Giving

2009-11-24T08:40:00.000-08:00

Tis the season! Looking for a gift? Looking for ways to support our world?

Our Relay for Life Team (WY Library Community Relay for Life) has partnered with Mountain Avenue...Circle of Giving.
Check out our website,http://wyomingweb.net/relay/ or go straight to Mountain Avenue to start shopping, http://www.mountainavenue.com

Fair Trade, eco-friendly and support non-profits...a circle of giving.

When you complete your shopping, you can select a charity (partner)--that's us! The partners are listed alphabetical, so look for us under Wyoming!

A percentage of the profit is then donated to our team and our fight against cancer.

Spread the word...and thank you!

hugs,
chris

Alimta Number 70

2009-11-16T07:17:00.000-08:00

Holy crap! I find that amazing and exhausting.

hugs,
chris

Dr. Lung Love

2009-11-05T14:37:00.001-08:00

Check it out!
http://www.lunglove.com/

I came across this link to Dr. Lung Love on the Lung Cancer Alliance webpage (http://www.lungcanceralliance.org/) looking at the Lung Cancer Awareness Month materials. Bet ya didn't know it was Lung Cancer Awareness Month...bet they didn't ask you if you wanted to donate to lung cancer research at the grocery store. Bet you do not see white mixers to support lung cancer or white ribbons on the Cheerios box...

Lung Cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in both men and women and in every ethnic group. It will take the lives of:
• More people than the next four most deadly cancers combined (colorectal, breast, pancreas, prostate)
• Over three times as many men as prostate cancer
• Nearly twice as many women as breast cancer
• An average of 437 people every day
...and yet, lung cancer continues to be the least funded in dollars per death of the four major cancers. $27, 480 breast cancer, $14, 336 prostate,
$6, 590 colon and $1, 249 for lung (down from $1, 871 in 2005)

I am now stepping off of my soapbox and going to listen to Dr. Lung Love.
hugs,
chris

75

2009-10-23T08:32:00.000-07:00

What a roller coaster of emotions. Yesterday was chemo number 75.

I am blessed to have something that is working. I am blessed to be able to do all I do.
But, there are moments I just get cranky about having to schedule around it, schedule around 7-10 green days. I get cranky about the body parts that don't feel so good and not being able to do as much. Wah!

Thank goodness, with the support of you all, I am a "glass half full" kind of gal. The blessings still win out!!

hugs,
chris

Good morning!

2009-10-09T07:38:00.000-07:00

I thought it was fall...looks and feels like January! I tripped over my flip flops trying to get out my Uggs!

It has been a long time since I added to this blog. Luckily, I have very little to report regarding health and treatment. That was the idea behind this blog-update everyone. We never dreamed that I would still be blogging, still be living, still be kicking ass! I am one lucky person! And, speaking of lucky...here is a picture of Lux. Doesn't he just make you smile?!

Had my 74th chemo treatment on the 28th and then went to WLA in Laramie. I was the very green attendee! My treatments move back to Thursday for the next few. Next one: October 22nd. Will see if having the weekend to rest up, helps to decrease the number of green days.

Stay warm this weekend.

hugs,

chris

getting the hang of this...

2009-09-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

After almost 5 years (amazing!), I am finally getting the hang of this... I am finally understanding the need for rest and healing time.
I have powered through a lot of the time. That has worked for me. Kept life regular (as regular as life can be with a cancer diagnosis).
I have read about it. Folks have talked to me about it. You have to ask for help. You have to rest. You have to let your body and mind and soul heal; build back strength.

Slow learner. But learning.
I have good teachers.

hugs,
chris

Happy, Happy!

2009-08-28T10:58:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday! I am ready for the weekend.
Had a fabulous time in Portland. That Lux is just the best (but then, so is his mommy!). He and I had long and meaningful conversations, laughed and cuddled.
Dan and Lori drove over and took us all out to eat at Fish Grotto for Carrie's 30th birthday. Wonderful food and a grand time.
Farmer's market, Canon Beach, re-decorating, hanging out. Perfect!

I can't believe that it is time for chemo again. Coming up on Monday. I am hoping that this round of green does not last as long as last time. Sure is messing with my feet. Good thing it is still flip flop season!!

Have a grand weekend!
hugs,
chris

Still green

2009-08-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, enough already. I had chemo a week ago and my stomach is still pissed off.

Every now and then my body must just be cranky and not feel like snapping back. I think it was also harder having it on Monday and then no weekend break like I usually have when I get chemo on Thursday.
I had a great session with the acupuncturist on Saturday. She truly is a healer. Yesterday I drove to my friend Venice's, out by Hawk Springs. Lovely drive-fields of sunflowers, cool enough for a sweatshirt. After we nibbled our way through the gardens, we sat under the trees and worked on our looms. Fun to weave and chat and watch the birds.
Today, Des brought me chunks of two different breads and Meg arrived with home made chicken burgers and cookies. (Thank you!)
All that should get me on the mend. That and, I get to see Lux on Thursday and celebrate my daughter's 30th birthday! Wahoo!
Life is GOOD!!
hugs,
chris

chemo on a Monday-yuk!

2009-08-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

Not a way to start the week! It was lovely to have the acupuncture. Always so healing to visit with Stacey. She is amazing. But then, to be feeling so darn good (especially with a few extra days), and wam! Here we go again. Number 66 on the Alimta. Number 72 overall. I must be getting pretty blase about it all. I went to get my log that I keep after every infusion. I had not written a thing last time! I guess that is good-things are staying the same and I am doing great!

I was on the road last week for work. I love it so much! I was in Dayton with teachers, Basin and Riverton with public library folks. Then to Jackson for Information Power with the school library media group. Fantastic gathering. It took me 4 1/2 hours to go over the mountains! So much construction. Then on to Alpine and Kemmerer. Lots of miles and lots of folks. Beautiful scenery. I love my job!

Hope you all are enjoying your summer.
hugs,
chris

STABLE!

2009-07-20T08:14:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh! It is stable AGAIN! Thank you for all the prayers and energy and hope.

hugs,
chris

Summertime

2009-07-10T12:03:00.000-07:00

Looks like we finally got over the monsoon season and have some summer sun. Nice!

Had a wonderful road trip to Portland. 19 hours each way. Loved almost every mile of it. Did hate to leave that baby!

PET scan and chemo on the 17th. Then the next chemo dates are Monday August 10 and Monday August 31. I am juggling a bit for some travels.

I know I have mentioned it before, but this acupuncture is proving to be so healing and helpful. It is giving me back 3 days each infusion week. How cool is that? Plus, it feels healing just to be around her.

I realized while I was on the road, that on my good weeks, there is no part of me that feels sick. I feel wonderful!
Hooray Alimta! Hooray acupuncture! Hooray attitude!

Have a grand weekend.
hugs,
chris

Number 70

2009-07-02T07:27:00.000-07:00

...and look what it has allowed me to do and see. Wow.

The best!

2009-06-29T10:27:00.000-07:00

So content on mommy's tummy.

Happy Bubbe!

2009-06-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

I am so lucky. I am so blessed.

and more miracles

2009-06-16T13:26:00.000-07:00

Lux Sequoia Travis arrived at 8:24 pm on June 15th.
7 lb. 1 oz
19 1/2 inches long

BEAUTIFUL!

He is doing great and so is his mom and dad. Needless to say, his grandma is over the moon!

His name means light.
He is.

hugs,
chris

Miracles

2009-06-12T07:58:00.000-07:00

Miracles abound!

I am on a drug that when approved by the FDA, was working for about 10 infusions for people. I just finished 63 infusions on Alimta.

When diagnosed, I hoping to see my 50th birthday. Turned 53 this spring.

I remember walking the survivor lap in 2005 and wondering if I would be back. I circled that track again last weekend.

and now, I am about to welcome my grandson to the world.

Miracles abound.

hugs,
chris

another Survivor lap

2009-06-05T07:35:00.000-07:00

Relay for Life is tonight. I will walk another survivor lap.
I will walk it with mixed emotions. I am so angry that this is part of my life. I hate it so much.
But, it is my reality. So...

Another SURVIVOR lap! I am STILL HERE!! Let's CELEBRATE that!

hugs,
chris
(Come join me on the track tonight...6'ish)

Still here to walk another survivor lap!

2009-05-22T13:29:00.000-07:00

Relay for Life is just around the corner. June 5th and 6th here in Cheyenne. Come out and walk with us, join in the celebration of hope.

If you would like to join in the cause--raise awareness and dollars, you can go to this link and donate online:
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/queenwyo
You can also send directly to me, make checks out to ACS (American Cancer Society).

Let me know if you have any questions or want to come out and walk.

Thank you for all you do. I know that my life depends on it.

As I say on the Relay donation page...I Relay in hope that one day, no one will have to have their world rocked with the words, "You have cancer."

hugs,
chris

single and sick

2009-05-19T06:40:00.000-07:00

Last night I was really feeling the negative side of being a single person with cancer and chemo. I was sick, sad, pissed. I needed dinner. I did not need to see the pile on the coffee table, the dishes, the yard that needed work, laundry... I needed fruit and veggies and a hug!
Pitiful, isn't it?!

But, this morning is just gorgeous. I am still sick, but improving. And, Des walked in with fruit, bread and a book!

hugs,
chris

and she's off!

2009-05-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

Just to keep with a theme, since it is horseracing season...and I am a longshot.
Yesterday was #62 on the Alimta. Dr. Kanard is still amazed... I am amazed, tired, willing.

I am hoping to have enough goody to get out and putter in the yard a bit this weekend. Sure needs some digging and clipping and raking. There are tulips back there somewhere!

Enjoy the weekend!
hugs,
chris

Dance

2009-05-08T07:50:00.000-07:00

Long time, no post! Chemo wrestled me to the ground this time and we are in the midst of moving the library.
But, here it is Friday-there are tulips on my desk, I am in my new office, and I am no longer green. Nice!
I am feeling so spring-like. New, hopeful, refreshed. (I can hear ya Moodler: "Look out! She is blissing!")
A very happy Mother's Day. I sure do miss my mom. I can't believe that it has been 18 years. She was such a force, she loved life and celebrated it. And speaking of...this weekend would have been my Uncle Guy's birthday. Talk about a life force! I know those two are up there dancing!

Get out there and dance! Happy Spring!
hugs,
chris

Relay for Life online auction

2009-04-24T09:38:00.000-07:00

Come and play...it is fun, it is easy, and there is great stuff!

Our WY Library Community Relay for Life team has an online auction going on to raise funds for our team and for the fight against cancer.

Please check it out, http://wyolibrelay.blogspot.com/. There are pictures of items on the first page, but to see all of it, look at the links on the right hand side. You can click on the label tags (for example fitness or Stacy) or scroll down and look at the titles of items.

You will find jewelry, food (salsa chili sauce), cooking and entertaining items; art (check out No. 144 vessel), spa items, tire rotation coupon, a walking kit (Cancer Sucks!), Mother's Day breakfast in bed, a sock knitting kit. Some items start at $2.00...so get in there and shop!

Give the gift of hope, of opportunity, of cure.

Thank you for supporting us. It is so important. I know that I appreciate it....and I know that my life depends on these dollars and the research and education they support.

hugs,
chris

Hooray for OPI!

2009-04-21T12:56:00.000-07:00

I was flipping through a magazine while on vacation and for the first time...there was a product that is helping get the word out about lung cancer. Amazing! You can see the ad on the OPI site, http://opi.com/ . There is an link at the bottom of the home page.

I looked it up this morning, and here is the scoop:
1) OPI made an initial donation to LCFA (Lung Cancer Foundation of America) and is helping with the AWARENESS about Lung Cancer. The Foundation does not receive profits from the sales of the nail polish bottles.
2) The OPI National Campaign BREATHE LIFE is priceless and the very first corporate endorsement for lung cancer. Every step begins with a first and we are hopeful others will follow.
http://www.lcfamerica.org/breathelife.html

So, even though your purchase of the polish will not result in dollars it will result in awareness...which will lead to education...which will lead to dollars for research....which will lead to a cure.

hugs,
chris

what a gift

2009-04-13T08:31:00.000-07:00

It is hard to explain how I feel today. Celebrating a birthday I did not think I would see...

Ok, I know how to explain it, YAHOO!!!!!!!

hugs,
chris

Hints of spring

2009-04-10T14:53:00.000-07:00

ahhhh. It seems that we are finally seeing more of spring than winter. I know, I know! How long have I lived in Wyoming?!

I had written in an earlier post about being a possibilitarian. ("Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see them, for they're always there." Norman Vincent Peale in The Power of Positive Thinking) When I was in Casper recently, my aunt Char gave me a shirt she had made with POSSIBILITARIAN on it! How cool is that?!

I have to share with you all-acupuncture is working for me! I am so excited. She (Stacey Gruber) sees me right before chemo and then the following Tuesday. Having it right before (and that Dr. Kanard has increased the infusion time) has resulted in a much better day. I seem to be recovering faster, too. Felt better by Tuesday morning rather than sometime on Thursday. Yahoo!

Happy weekend!
hugs,
chris

#60 on the 2nd

2009-03-27T12:03:00.000-07:00

Here comes Alimta number 60.

I was thinking about what that meant, how long that has been...I realized that I have felt crummy for 60 weeks over the last 3 1/2 years. That is over a year! No wonder I had some pissy days last year!

It also means that I have been blessed with more time than they ever thought. So, I'll take those crummy weeks.

Bring it on!

hugs,
chris

Spring!

2009-03-20T12:50:00.000-07:00

Happy First Day of Spring!

I hope that you see signs of spring this weekend. Get out those flip flops!
hugs,
chris